just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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