Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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