I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
