You're my little dorito
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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