i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
