I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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