This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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