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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize