Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
