Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
