Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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