And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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