He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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