he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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