He is such a slut. More and more my type.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
