guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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