You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She announced her abortion via fbk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
