Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
