i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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