I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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