I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm like, not good at living.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize