Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
