Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
