just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im six kinds of drunk right now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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