Ambien. No doubt about it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
