He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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