i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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