I'm so fucking centered right now
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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