Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
