so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The air taste purple.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
