who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
