we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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