yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
