No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
