Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize