normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
