names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
