I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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