Got a toothbrush?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
