he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
