So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
