I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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