Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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