happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
