thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize