You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
why is half of my head shaved?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
