i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize