ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize