You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize