I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
