I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
