Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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