why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
