worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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