im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
