I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
ok first of all what the fuck
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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