He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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