i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
