i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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