I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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