You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
