I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
