I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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