Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
